📌 A hill I w
共 37 條紀錄
A hill I will forever die on:
A person who wants access to you but
does not reduce your burden is not asking
for partnership.
They are asking for consumption.
When my husband and I were dating, I used to drive in rush hour traffic to his house multiple days a week for our dates. At the time, I didn’t question it because he lived downtown where all the cool places were.
But… I remember him being annoyed with me more than once that it took me “so long” to get to his place, after I sat in traffic, after a full day’s work. 8 years later, I realize that he not only didn’t appreciate the burden that put on me, but he was also annoyed it wasn’t enough.
I literally left a 3.5 year relationship with a good on paper man because he didn't like coming into my world. I am still trying to put my house back together from 3 years of neglect. I did weekly work on his home and his business, he mowed my lawn one time and stayed over one time.
A satellite in a man's orbit I am no longer
When was your aha moment?
I don't know that there was a singular one, but if there was, it would have been when he tried to discourage his sister from entering my house when they dropped by so she could give me the gifts she'd brought from Brazil. Thankfully she ignored him but it validated for me what I suspected he really thought of the life I've rebuilt after my painful divorce. He was embarrassed.
“Reducing the burden” is how you build friendships and community…
…and through that process of connection, you might get lucky and find love and intimacy.
I am convinced this is the way.
I think that is a good way
People in general - everything is an exchange. Even if you are generous be *aware* of the investment you are making so you can stop investing if/when time comes without being the one who gave less
Exactly. Access without contribution is just consumption dressed up as connection.
If they’re not making your life lighter, easier, or better in some way, they’re just taking 💜
This. Say you care about me? Make sure I have a safe place to live and can eat properly. And don't let people hound me to death for turning down some other man, either!
This!!! I say this all the time about folks who want community but neglects accountability or reciprocity. They want the access to resources and that’s it.
The backlash I’ve gotten for saying I don’t want to be in a relationship unless it makes my life easier is so scary to me!!!!
It’s that or nothing for me.
Yes one million times. AND you cannot convince someone to give effort just because you've given access.
Stop that nonsense.
Right, because why would I wanna be with someone who’s not making my life any better but is demanding of me 🤔
AHHHHHHHHH!!! 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣 When I tell y'all I have so much I can say about this!!!
They are often REQUIRING consumption with a side of “genuine adoration.”
saved so maybe i’ll come across this the next time i forget.
Somebody go back in time and tell 20-year-old me this 😩
Like vampires.
Once you notice it, it's easy to walk away.
Let me follow you real quick. 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻
Absolutely. If I'm doing it alone I want to be alone.
I’d rather be alone than drag your ass with me and be lonely. Amen girl.
Holla to my sh!tty ex Jason
. This is YOU Dipshit
He ain’t even worth the name drop. You are though. 🧡💙
Lol they askin to get cussed out and blocked 😂
Most people want proximity, not responsibility.
Sister ima die right on that hill with ya!
I needed to see this tonight. So much.
This is such a damn learning curve.
Reading this just made me so tired
This changed my brain chemistry: