2021 part A 想知大概咩lv or 幾多分🙏🏿

L: 注意collocations/register…
見你有d用字幾怪異， eg intriguing amount of activities (intriguing只會用黎形容人而唔係死物），featuring principal? (featuring 係用黎指配角等等，不適用喺football match), 你話Mr Wong is over the moon to join the football match, 但over the moon 呢個phrase 一黎太casual 一黎呢個係個人感受唔會幫人地講埋，”I aforementioned above~> as aforementioned etc
register 方面唔夠formal, 見你有時會用下’But’開頭「!」結尾，呢d都係怪怪地…

C: 係豐富ge

O: 第二段一大抽太長，每個活動分返段會更清楚。

好 thx for the feedback🫰

C/L/O: 均4
level 3

學校老師俾17/21 😭😭😭😭😭

嘩…

呢個情境嘗試用少啲累贅既 signposting phrases: One of the activities is ...//The last activity I want to talk about is...//Before we move on to the next topic, 不妨包裝下啲signposting language to engage the audience more. 例如. the activity you should not miss is... // Besides...., .... is your must-do activity. 另外, 有些活動內容描述較表面，不妨專注寫兩(至三)個深入詳盡啲活動