I don’t want to k*ll myself, but if I died suddenly, that would be okay.

i tried in january i tried in february i tried in march and i will try again in april

This is a reminder that we’ll be lassoing the Moon with Artemis II. Beautiful perspective! 🌝♾️🌍

37,469 is the attendance today at Citizens Bank Park for the finale between the Nationals and Phillies.

Well, the courts won’t even let him cancel PBS… And you keep saying nobody is stopping him.

He can’t even turn off the cartoons he hates… I need y’all to think about that.