I want some lesbian friends, but only if you’re single 🙄. Platonic friendships only.

Absolute comedy of errors this weekend:
- When I'm a market vendor, I wait until the end to buy from other tables so that 'real' customers get a shot first.
- Yesterday, I decided to buy from a bakery and a butcher, and told them I'd be back at the end.
- I forgot.
- But wait, both businesses had on their calendars that they'd be at another market today!

When I was ten, I wanted to try eating a small bird perched on the neighbor's roof, so I threw cotton swabs coated in glue at it. My grandmother was furious when she saw the countless swabs stuck to the roof, but I remained silent about my reasons for doing it.

@cpc_hq, you seem quiet today. Bear got your tongue?